Basically I've been on a real Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen tip recently and I watched all their films (yeah yeah also for the purposes of this blog *ahem*). I excluded Double, Double, Toil and Trouble and How the West Was Fun from this because they were children's films - the girls were 8 years old at that point and were still doing Full House. So this post covers from It Takes Two to New York Minute, which coincidentally are their only two theatrical films. There's a neat sandwich theme to this chronology, with nine direct-to-video releases/TV movies as the filling, and a couple big-budget releases as the bread. Which I know is the wrong way round in a sandwich, but just imagine that it's particularly expensive, posh bread. And that the filling's the cheapest thing you can think of, like some Sainsbury's Basics bread or something. 11. The Challenge (2003) A fun, novel idea for a Mary-Kate and Ashley flick, the Olsens play estranged twins who unbeknownst to each other have both applied, successfully, to be on a reality game show filmed in Mexico called The Challenge. A Survivor-like show where the prize is a college scholarship, the contestants are pitted against each other in two teams. Naturally there is treachery afoot. And naturally the sisters' mutual antagonism is gradually softened. Much of the film follows the contestants doing their challenges treating us like we're the audience of (the in-universe) The Challenge. This drama supplements the main drama of the plot rather than augments it. It's seamlessly done, but feels slightly cop-outish. Additionally, the two blossoming romances feel slightly forced. While I can't say I didn't enjoy watching the film, I fear it won't have as much re-watch value and longevity as most of their others. Also, there's a weird meta final scene that I'm not wholly on board for. (To put it mildly.) 10. Our Lips Are Sealed (2000) On paper this looks like it ought to be as good as Mary-Kate and Ashley's other world-traveling efforts. The premise is interesting, with the girls being sent to live in Sydney, Australia as part of the witness protection program. It's fun and sunny, but the gags aren't exactly great. The film gets quite silly and campy - most annoying are the two mobster goons' accents (they're from an Eastern European country called ... Yurugli). I can tolerate all the fourth-wall-breaking, but there are one or two self-referential meta gags - which I feel spoil the movie by breaking the illusion of reality in an overt way. Visually the film is very nice with the views from Sydney Harbour, and some beach and yacht party scenes, and jet-ski and surf scenes. However I can't get over the lameness of the gags. They're not lackluster, just poor and falling flat. The film definitely does have some heart ... it's just I can't say I really like it a massive deal, so I suppose there's mixed feelings there. It's fun and doesn't take itself seriously in the slightest. I just feel the humor ought to have been less trite and infantile and corny. 9. Getting There (2002) After passing their driving tests the girls decide on a cross-country road trip with a group of their friends. Aiming to get to Salt Lake City, Utah to see the Winter Olympics, they suffer mishap after mishap on their journey. Not totally bereft of charm, I felt this to be very average. While its humor doesn't awkwardly fall flat on its face, the comedic moments are more just mildly amusing than funny (and that's putting it generously). The characters I feel are a bit one-dimensional. As if they're stereotypes of teenagers written by someone who never was one. The worst crime of the film is that it got dull, I felt, in the final part when the gang hit the slopes and we're punished with skiing montages. Don't get me wrong, it makes a change, but these skiing (and snowboarding and tubing and snowmobiling) scenes drag and feel too obligatory and drawn-out. The film is really about the journey, the misadventure. Does that mean, though, that in the final act when we've reached the destination should so little happen dramatically? Plot threads are tied up, but it's just so inelegant and anticlimactic. Having said all this, I found the film pretty watchable. Hard to recommend especially, but charming in its own way. 8. New York Minute (2004) A fun, goofy adventure with some teen sibling melodrama thrown in, the twins had by now far outgrown their cuteness. As a film experience it is fast paced and even a bit crazy OTT - but what can be more exciting than an adventure in NYC? Never tedious, I wouldn't say it's overly busy, just necessarily farcical in style, a lot more than would be typical for the twins. I guess for that reason alone this may be worth a checking out. Also atypical is that Mary-Kate and Ashley are playing sisters who absolutely loathe each other. This pair dynamic results in some tender emotional moments among the mirth and adventure (part of which, incidentally, is provided by a subplot involving a truancy officer following the girls around the city played by Eugene Levy). 7. Switching Goals (1999) Well-made and well-written, the story is dealt with with plenty of care, and doesn’t condescend to young audiences. Although the subject matter may be seen to be targeted to preteens, this TV movie is suited for the whole family. It has an effortlessly entertaining style not relying on cheap gags, the comedy is in the plot and the goings-on; a lot less unsubtle than some of the girls’ other feature-lengths. While at a more relaxed pace, the story has enough meat to it that makes this able to compete against the twins' more visually stimulating films with settings in cities across the world. Middle school, middle America may not exactly be the most exciting backdrop but I can see how audiences from these demographics would appreciate it. And while the limited scenery is not overly detrimental, it is still a thing. The ending also is a bit anticlimactic in its predictability - but what do you expect for a sports film? Also, I love Mary-Kate's bandana. 6. Holiday in the Sun (2001) By 2001 the twins had outgrown their cute preteen appeal, and were now a couple of pretty, jailbait teens. Though set and filmed in the Bahamas, Holiday in the Sun doesn't "feel" as exotic as it might have done, with most of the locale being in a holiday resort. The drama is provided variously by a friendly fling with a local boy with suitably boybandesque hair (any teenage girl's wet-dream!), and a lighthearted teen courtship in the form of playing Cyrano, before eventually shifting gear to a crimesolving caper in the final quarter. With some mild parent conflict thrown in for good measure, the different plot threads flow alongside cohesively enough. In some of their other films the girls visit Rome, Paris and Sydney, and have more engaging and noteworthy adventures. Here the story is somewhat pedestrian by comparison (in particular the bitchy rivalry from a spoiled brat feels a little too juvenile) - although this is mitigated by the setting, which is lovely and fun, not to mention all the water-based holiday activity sequences. Furthermore the occasional shaky-cam, Dutch angle and B&W filter lend an amateurish vibe that sell short the production. And overall the plot feels slightly insubstantial, tacky and weak for a feature-length (though really I'm just nitpicking on this point - I guess it's fine, really, for the audience). This being said, the beginning third of the movie is particularly appealing to the senses with a cool 2001-era popish soundtrack (the whole film has a great soundtrack too by the way). I am very fond of it. 5. Winning London (2001) The girls are in their school's Model UN team, which is selected to participate in an international competition hosted in London. (I'm sure Mary-Kate and Ashley's fanbase must be VERY interested in Model UN competitions.) After arriving in London there is a touristy day-out scene - which was shot on a bad day, because it looks gray, overcast and chilly. The director must have done this on purpose. (Okay, he probably didn't.) This scene drags a bit. But it's a nice novelty to see the girls in a more layered wardrobe, with long woolen and leather coats and hats (I think they probably savored having a richer variety of clothing cuts and materials). London when overcast isn't the most romantic of cities, but it seems like every one of the team manage to pair up with someone. There are a couple of fake English accents, though they're not maddeningly bad. Halfway through the movie is another day-out montage where they go clothes shopping. While a nice bit, this feels too much like filler because, overall, the meat of the plot takes too long to get going. The beginning of the film starts off reasonably well, but immediately there's a dip in plot progression that takes a while to recover from. The earlier day-out scene could have been trimmed down for pacing (such as by cutting out their visit at London Dungeon or Westminster Abbey, or just by shortening the interspersing montage in general). So basically, with a setting and premise that are already arguably less exciting than many of their other films, Winning London could have at least been slightly improved with editing. Having said all this, I do like the idea, the film does recover well by the final act; and James, the English love interest, is very charming. 4. It Takes Two (1995) This is a very underappreciated film. It's not remembered as well as it should be - or at all. Mary-Kate plays an Annie-like figure, a pint-sized loudmouth orphan girl from New York with 'tude coming out of her eyeballs. Ashley plays an awfully well-off girl who by chance happens to look pretty much identical. Aside from some similarities to Annie to Mary-Kate's character, the twins trade places, and mischievously play matchmaker (one of the two victims is about to marry the wrong woman!); so with the combination of all these tropes (The Prince and the Pauper, anyone?), the premise could be argued to be a bit derivative. However, it is a well-produced film, expertly executed with plenty of heart and charm. Younger people may not remember who Steve Guttenberg is, as he is one of those '80s stars who basically disappeared. But in It Takes Two his lovable charisma opposite Kirstie Alley makes for some great on-screen chemistry. 3. When in Rome (2002) What could be more glamorous than a European Summer internship at an international corporation headquartered in Rome? The CEO - whose empire reaches from airlines to publishing to music and fashion - is not immediately seen; at first we get the inscrutable head of the Rome office and an internship director who is also a senior VP (who is also a fashion designer) as the main adults. The subject matter makes this a very appealing film for teenage girls; it's jet-set and exciting, aspirational and glitzy with the fashion design & photography aspect thrown in. And of course there's the whole Summer fling thing for one of the girls - and another romance for the aforementioned tycoon for good measure. And the picturesque environs of the city of Rome certainly can't hurt. 2. Passport to Paris (1999) The girls are sent by their parents to sojourn in Paris at their grandfather's mansion, who happens to be the U.S. Ambassador to France. Without giving too much away, their ménage à trois in the capital city with a fashion supermodel and two local boys would be off to a slow start. This is one of their more satisfying efforts. The plot isn't too light. There's likable characters. A good soundtrack. And I love Ashley's bandana. I don't really have a lot to complain about. The gags might not be stellar, but theyydo the job fine. Incidentally, The girls' father is played by Lloyd Braun from Seinfeld. 1. Billboard Dad (1998) How can I talk about this film with mentioning the hilarious, distractingly bad British accent of Nigel - a bald black guy who is the titular dad's agent? Basically the girls deface a blank billboard with a personals ad for their widowed father, an artist and sculptor. While he reluctantly deals with the response he gets, the girls deal with the new kid on the block - a punky skater bad boy who is actually a good guy (he looks the part in his heavy workboots and denims and bleached blond hair). There's a lot to like about this film. Set in the sunny, heavenly paradise that is Venice Boardwalk in L.A., the film is visually attractive. The premise is intriguing. And there is a satisfying story, with the plot drawing you in and keeping you engaged.
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February 2023
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