After so much levity one feels the need to darken the mood. Or to put it another way, sometimes I need to shoehorn in an introduction for content that I had arbitrarily decided upon earlier. My last post was about sex comedies (from one production house); and for a sequel (of sorts) I figured (subconsciously) that I'd cover a similarly taboo-bending genre - but one whose time came and (for the most part) went. The erotic thriller is as passé as the Millennium bug, having passed me just as the Y2K bug passed everyone by. Not that I actually needed the numbers to tell me this but its heyday was unequivocally in the '90s. I picked a handful (literally 5), each for its own reasons that may be made clear later (or may not). In reverse chronological order: Poison Ivy IV: The Secret Society (2008) Wildflower (Blood Related) (2000) Blown Away (1993) Killer Instinct (Homicidal Impulse) (1992) Victim of Love (Raw Heat) (1991) Poison Ivy IV: The Secret Society The lowest-rated on Rotten Tomatoes of the four Poison Ivy movies so OF COURSE this'll be the one I'll watch. The only one not including the titular Ivy (taking place in a different universe probably), it was also the only made-for-TV movie of the bunch, premiering on Lifetime in 2008. The previous two sequels were direct-to-video (and notably had Ivy played by a different actress each time round). So Shawna Waldron replaces the role of Ivy of the previous films, the new character being the VERY common, everyday-encountered flower's name 'Azalea'. (Side note, bear in mind Iggy Azalea is only a stage name.) Cute as she was in Little Giants and The American President, by now Waldron had blossomed into a jaw-dropping beauty - and it's a shame she hadn't been in more things. Her prior feature-length would have been the 2004 underrated gem To Kill A Mockumentary, flown right under the radar because of its low-budget nature. Its low production values may be offputting to many (and also much of its comic dialogue from either delivery or lameness), but if you don't set your expectations unrealistically high - and just enjoy the comedy - then there is value to be had overall. Don't scoff at giving it a second chance either, because, personally, I found that it grew on me second time round. Basically, imagine what Burn Hollywood Burn would have been like if it was much smaller scale and had a funnier script. ANYWAY, I digress. Back to Poison Ivy IV... . Farmgirl "Daisy", our protagonist, is newly enrolled into college where she meets Blake, a guy who seems to take a shine to her. Azalea, current leader of highly secretive sisterhood the Ivies, has an antagonistic role, offering Blake sexual favors for his help in altering her grades and boosting her chances of a coveted internship. (It is hinted that she's no stranger to using such tactics to help herself gain connections, influence, and so on.) Things take a dark turn after Daisy becomes embroiled with the Ivy Society. I'm coming at this with a degree of unbias, not having seen any of the other films in the Poison Ivy series. The story is interesting enough, with satisfying depth and a healthy amount of twists and turns. Waldron plays Azalea wonderfully. Her character is not as one-dimensional as she's first portrayed to be; while vengeful and conspiratorial, she is humanized to a small degree. There is also a certain degree of artistry to the sex scenes. Whether they be soft and slow and gentle, or rough, it is always classy (this may have to do with use of visual effects and new-agey music). Waldron's hair and make-up are sometimes unflattering, but for the most part she looks fine (in both senses). 14.5/20 Wildflower After the death of their tycoon father, three siblings who stand to inherit his empire head to a wooded cabin to negotiate the agreement between them. Brought along are girlfriends, wives and hitchhikers (well, to be exact, one of each). Arguments, bloodshed, and lesbian erotica ensue. Yada yada yada. Things heat up IMMEDIATELY. During the pre-credit sequence, in colored lighting we see a self-described "bad, bad girl" grinding the aforementioned wealthy patriarch while he reaches for pills. The prognosis: death by sex. And just like a Bond movie, we are then treated to a music-accompanied opening credits. Except it's country rock. (Or the more vague term, "alternative rock".) The song is by the obscure Wendie Colter, of which all her songs in this movie can be found on her album 'Payday' - it's pretty damn good, most definitely a hidden gem. On the subject of the soundtrack, the uncomfortably loud and prominent score tries to suggest that this is a more interesting story than it is. But the set-up is uninspired, despite one or two fun ideas (example: the siblings are each handed an envelope they're forbidden to show anyone, setting up audience anticipation for the reveal at the end). The story is pretty engaging in many ways. But by the middle act it starts to bore and get tedious ... then amps up when curveballs get thrown left, right and center. Drama and tension is added artificially, unnaturally, and inelegantly, with sudden shifts that are too far-fetched to get onboard with. A mess of plot twists and switching motives/personalities, it's as if the writer doesn't understand people at all, but is an objective outsider viewing them as puppets in a sequence of events. And the nudity is most definitely on the side of gratuitous. It's almost as if this word was invented for this film. That, and the word 'melodramatic'. I'm not gonna lie, the sole reason I picked this was because it was directed by David Michael Latt, co-founder of The Asylum - just as the company was making its own first feature film. 6/20 Blown Away Ah, the Two Coreys! Most people say their favorite Two Coreys film is The Lost Boys or License To Drive or Dream A Little Dream (I prefer the sequel with Robyn Lively, but that's just me). In any case, never mentioned is Blown Away - but it's not necessarily their worst. Atypically non-comedic, it shows them broadening their common film résumé with something darker and dramatically meatier. It does mean we are "treated" to a nude Corey Haim. He may be a former teen heartthrob, but I'm not 100% convinced audiences want to see his naked butt all the time. The sexual scenes are very tasteful and tender however, with Haim's thrusting of pelvis onto real-life girlfriend Nicole Eggert offering a relaxed and confident authenticity. Eggert's slender legs and feet, and Californian hair and nails give these scenes a graceful, elegant touch. She's the sexy, sinister femme fatale who plots murders and drives apart half-brothers Haim and Feldman. The setting is a ski resort where Haim works, and owned by Eggert's wealthy father. (Forgive me for not using their character names, but there really is no point.) The film is not explicitly set in any named place, though it's probably in Canada, as Haim frequently wears double denim. A mess of twists, revelations and killings, the ending feels rather nonsensical and unsatisfying ... but the film does have its occasional moments. Such include Eggert's long, blonde hair flowing against her sweat-soaked back. There's not much to recommend other than that. 12.5/20 Killer Instinct I suppose I picked this because Vanessa Angel is pretty active on social media, engaging with her fans and stuff, and I follow her on Instagram. In the beforeglow of her career, it would be a couple years on that she'd star in the Weird Science sitcom spin-off and make her breakthrough appearance in Kingpin. But enough biographical details! Her slim, youthful curves and peachy buttocks drenched in sensual oils are arguably tastefully done here, although it's surely edging into the land of softcore pornography. Noir overtones give this movie a mild vintage flair, with extremes of sex and violence. As much horror as thriller, atmosphere is delivered in spades (when they're not being used to bury a murder victim). Muted chromaticity, gruesome corpses, and of course the pleasures of writhing bodies shock, disturb and titillate. A prosecuting lawyer has his eyes on career advancement, and it seems things begin to go his way after he becomes entangled with a sexy new intern - who we discover has a mysterious relationship to the current D.A. Believability is not a primary concern with this flick, more important is how the story is told rather than what the story is, suffice it to say that this is a story about lust, crime, power and manipulation. Not fuckin Perry Mason. I'll give this film some credit for its dark atmosphere and playing mindgames with the audience. But simply, it's just not my cup of tea. 11.5/20 Victim of Love Basically a love triangle between a psychologist, her widowed lover, and her female patient (JoBeth Williams, Pierce Brosnan, and Virginia Madsen respectively). Is he a womanizer? Is the patient delusional? Was his wife MURDERED? If so, by who? ET CETERA. This is a slightly tenuous entry. While not any T+A is shown explicitly, the sex scenes are romantic, slow and sexy enough to convey eroticism (wetness does seem to be a running motif). They complement the movie well, adding to the atmosphere. Some online reviews seem to be critical of the sax music that accompanies them ... but what does this have to do with anything?? It was in vogue at the time. That's like criticizing the film for somebody having a certain hairstyle - it's entirely dumb. Fashions change - so what? They also have grievances with the film being derivative. I'm not going to argue this point other than to say there's nothing wrong with being derivative so long as the end result is solid. This wasn't a theatrical film, bear in mind, and it had only the scope of a TV movie. However the main cast trio are excellent - they really elevate the script with their beauty, naturalness and talent. JoBeth Williams as the protagonist I would single out; there's a real sense of compassion as she's hesitantly being romanced at her stage in life, then falling for her lover, then struggling to square this with things she's been hearing about him from her patient. She's also quite sexy. But it goes without saying that all three are tremendously good-looking, which I feel increases the stakes and drama and interest. In any case, I was kept entertained, wanting to know how the story played out. It might not be a film that has a lot of longevity once the mystery has been solved for you, but it's great for a once-through if you're into the genre (romantic-psychological-thriller-mystery). 15/20 Honorable Mention: Body Shot (1994) Where do I begin with this one!? Hilariously the poster uses a picture of Robert Patrick from the set of T2: Judgment Day, where his hair is obviously a different color, length, style, and even type, it seems. It is so blatant as to be laughable. If you're eagle-eyed, on the DVD case you can see a tiny slither of police badge. Mickey, a photographer with an obsession with pop star Chelsea, is given the job of taking some shots of lookalike Danielle. When the real Chelsea is found murdered, the police go after him after finding incriminating evidence.
I was in two minds about watching this one; reviews seemed to indicate that stylistically it was more neo noir than erotic thriller, especially considering the tameness of the sex scenes. The focus of the film does seem to be more on the hardboiled side of things - solving a mystery, with some scattering of first-person voiceover. And all the cool action scenes are a bonus. But yeah, the sex scenes were probably more "steamy" than "erotic" (hence why the uncut, unblurred film is allowed to have been kept on YouTube). While necessary for the plot, they are inconsequential to the "essence" of the movie, I feel. Online reviews were also critical of the plot being convoluted. I would say that the majority of the film is fine in this regard and it's only the ending that leaves one scratching their head - any plot twists up to this point are not to any detrimental degree. The resolution may be overcomplicated, but that doesn't mean I think the plot should have been simplified ... just the characters should "dumb it down" for audiences by reiterating one final time who was really who, why did X get involved, and precisely what the false narrative was versus what really happened. Or just use diagrams. If you watch the movie with the forewarning to pay attention during the final big scene - as well as on any unseen characters' names - then you'll likely enjoy it that bit more. 14/20
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February 2023
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