In my last post I mentioned Hallmark Christmas movies. Now, as with anime, I'm not an addict of them or anything, but perhaps a voyeur. Bear in mind, there are hundreds. They can't ALL be worth watching?
No of course they ain't. But I've watched ... enough, and, like a box of Quality Streets, too much sweet stuff can make you sick. The Hallmark Channel ethos is all about sentimentality (which can be done well or be done badly) and quantity over quality. But there's gotta be a few gems in that assortment. If you look hard enough. So, as we're stuck in lockdown at our homes with only our families for company, let's pretend it's the Christmas season. Don't spend too long outside - or you'll catch flu! I recommend the following as ones particularly worth watching: Crown for Christmas A Christmas Detour A Very Merry Mix-Up Family for Christmas A Royal Christmas And an honorable mention to the A Christmas Prince trilogy. A Christmas Prince is fucking brilliant. Fucking. Brilliant. Here Netflix have out-Hallmarked Hallmark. Crown for Christmas Under the urging of her siblings, recently-fired hotel maid Allie becomes employed as governess for the daughter of King Maximillian of Winshire, a small sovereign nation near Luxembourg. The typically bratty Princess Theodora soon bonds with Allie. Meanwhile Maximillian, emotionally cold since he became widowed, is betrothed to the beautiful Countess Celia under pressure from Chancellor Riggs. Princess Theodora, however, thinks that Allie would be a better match. Crown for Christmas is well-presented, well-paced, and well-acted. Danica McKellar of The Wonder Years has become somewhat of a Hallmark stalwart (bit of a tongue-twister!) in recent years. She also starred in the The Asylum-produced Love At The Christmas Table (also starring Lea Thompson) for the Lifetime network. She's an absolute charm and delight to watch. She oozes appeal even in the face of corny lines. But there is also some really lovely dialogue here. A Christmas Detour Meet Paige. She's a writer for Radiant Bride magazine who is off to get married herself. She dreams about her perfect wedding in New York to her well-off fiance, yet dreads meeting his parents. A snowstorm forces her plane to stop in Buffalo, where the airline offers her a hotel room. Cruel fate! Her room adjoins the one allocated to the irritating man who sat next to her on the plane. This doesn't feel overly corny or half-assed. It has witty dialogue. Charm. And if your eyes tear up, I won't blame you. It doesn't mean you need counseling or anything. One petty criticism I'd make is that when the main characters arrive at the O Tannenbaum Inn, the prop snow on their clothes looks really bad. Like, it's distracting. It's really obviously fake snow to the eye, all piled up on their heads and shoulders, just sitting there not melting. A Very Merry Mix-Up A pretty antique store owner is traveling alone to her fiancé's home town to meet her future in-laws. The airline loses her luggage and another passenger spills coffee on her. He then offers to get her a new blouse and drive her to where she wants to go. The two determine that, by coincidence, he is her fiancé's brother - before he crashes the car while distracted. While she tries to contact Will Mitchum, her fiancé, his parents arrive, where she informs them that she and Will are engaged. And so she then spends Christmas with the Mitchums. But with a title of A Very Merry Mix-Up, you know something's gonna happen! It does go overkill with the whole Christmas aspect. However the main character loving Christmas traditions was necessary for the plot, so I'm nitpicking really. As Hallmark movies go, this is one of the better ones. It's well-acted. The characters are not so one-dimensional. And Alicia Witt is very beautiful. Family for Christmas One morning, Hannah, a high-flying career woman, wakes up in a strange home in the suburbs married to her high school boyfriend with two kids. After driving into the city to find nobody at her workplace recognizing her, she returns to her new home where she struggles to adjust. We discover that apparently a mysterious figure had granted her a subconscious Christmas wish. Yeah yeah, you can say the premise is too much like Nic Cage flick The Family Man, but wasn't that derivative of Peggy Sue Got Married and A Christmas Carol and Sliding Doors? Nothing's truly original. In any case, I found myself enraptured and spellbound. Hallmark flicks can oftentimes be clumsy and not leaving you rooting or caring for the protagonist. So a good job is done here (as with all the other ones on this list). Praise is especially warranted for making Hannah believably age 10 years from the introductory flashback scene to the current day. A Royal Christmas Emily's loving relationship is tested when one day her boyfriend reveals that he is Prince Leopold of Cordinia, a small sovereign state south of France. She agrees to spend Christmas in Cordinia where she meets the monarch, Her Majesty Queen Isadora, who does not approve of the American girl stealing the heart of the prince - especially as she wants him to marry the duchess, Natasha. The queen's sarcastic quips and backhanded comments make Emily feel unwelcome at the castle, though she manages to get on well with the butlers and housemaids ... a pity she gets them fired for making a hoagie during the Christmas ball! This is a real feel-good movie; there are ups, downs, and of course, horrendous lines. With the Hallmark Channel it is all about volume; and when your genre options are so narrow, there are few surprises, and it ends up being the same themes rehashed over again. That is why I love the ones that involve royals. What can be more extravagant and magical than waltzing princes and princesses? Quotes: Queen Isadora: "The tea ... is tepid." Prince Leopold: "You don't even know her." Queen Isadora: "I don't need to. She's a commoner." Prince Leopold: "Actually, she's the most uncommon girl I've ever known." Natasha: "Where's Emily?" Queen Isadora: "Perhaps she couldn't fit in her dress." Natasha: "Fitting in does seem to be a problem for her."
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February 2023
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